Leki's Journel

11 June

Hi,
Today I woke up around 11 and decided to work out, my body has been feeling lazy and sluggish lately. I did some yoga, took a shower, and did a bit of cleaning before heading out for lunch.

Since today was a  special day , I was really hoping for some datsi, but sadly, we were served eggs instead. And to make it worse, they tasted kind of bitter… do eggs even taste bitter? I was a bit disappointed.

After lunch, I came back to my room and had a conversation with Baka. Every time I talk to him, I forget all my tiredness and stress. It's always fun listening to him and sharing how my day went. He had just woken up, and while we talked, I realized something some of my friends underestimate me. They look down on me.

But that only motivates me more. Starting today, I will work harder and sharpen my skills. I’m ready to prove myself, not with words, but with action.

15 June

I wrote this because i was sad nothing more than that

Ever since I came to this college, I’ve felt a deep sense of loneliness. I realized I don’t really have any true friends here. As the saying goes, “A friend to all is a friend to none.” On the surface, everyone seems kind and acts like they care, but deep down, I haven’t found a single person I can truly open up to someone I can share my pain with, without the fear of being judged. It feels like people are only around when they need something. I’ve lost count of how many nights I’ve cried in silence, feeling completely alone and broken. Only my pillow knows the weight of the tears I’ve shed. But still, I don’t blame anyone. I understand that everyone is fighting their own battles and living their own lives in their own way. 

Baka and I had a little argument well, it wasn’t really an argument. It was mostly me being upset, probably because of my period mood swings. I honestly don’t know how other girls manage, but lately, mine have become more intense. One moment I’m angry, the next I’m suddenly happy. I can’t even understand myself sometimes, and sadly, my poor Baka ends up dealing with it all.

I ghosted him the entire day, and honestly, I don’t even know why. Despite all that, my sweetheart still called me. But even then, I wasn’t easy to deal with. Haha… sometimes I feel like I’m tormenting him too much. He’s busy with work, has so much on his plate, and yet, he still makes time for me  even with my unpredictable mood swings.

Maybe all this feels heavier because of the distance between us. It’s tough, especially when I see other couples together, going places, supporting each other in person. Still, even from afar, he’s always there for me, encouraging me in every way. That’s why I have to be stronger  for us.

Because of my emotions and overthinking, I stayed awake until 7 in the morning. But when he woke up, he sent me the sweetest message, and just like that, all my anger melted away.

Today, he’s starting his videography journey something he’s excited and passionate about. So from my side, I’m sending him all my love and wishing him the best of luck. I truly hope he achieves everything he dreams of. And most of all, I hope we grow stronger, clearing all our little misunderstandings along the way.